run joey run!

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jessie.

(I will forego telling this story in the third person, because it will be exceedingly difficult and quite annoying.)

So in March, I go to Target to buy a TV...because we all know how much I love Target. So if you work at Target, when you see a guest that you haven't seen before, you are supposed to ask them, "Can I help you find something?" And the answer is usually, "No, I'm just looking" and the underlying message is, "Bugger off, I'm in a hurry." WELL, on this fateful day, I go to Target, and I have lots of questions because clearly a purchase this big should be an informed one. So when the electronics team member, a guy about 1-2 years younger than I, approaches me and asks me if he can help me find something, I say, "Actually, yes!" and I proceed to ask questions and blah blah blah. Again, I have a lot of questions. Well, I think somehow this team member (who, by the way, I did not find attractive in any way...not to say he was particularly UN-attractive, but definitely not my cup of tea at all) must have thought that I was flirting with him or something...because apparently asking questions about the number of pixels in a television just screams "Heyyyyy there, fella!" So he starts talking to me about other things. Lots of other things. A full hour's worth of other things. Of course I'm too nice to just say, "Give me my TV and let me LEAVE, ya creep!" so he just keeps rambling on. And of COURSE in the midst of all his jabbering I still have lingering questions about my television purchase, so I can't just walk away anyhow. But in addition to telling me stories about this and that, he randomly throws in things like, "You seem like a really awesome girl, so..." (RULE #1: Never call me a girl. Ugh.)

If you want to know the kinds of things he talks about, here are two examples:

1. "So you're from Minnesota? South Dakota's near there, right? I drove through South Dakota once with a bunch of my buddies while we were following this band on tour, and one night, we were at a hotel and I saw a dude commit suicide by jumping out the third story window." (YEAH.)

2. Me: "I hate the saxophone a lot." (EDIT: Someone came up with a Dave Matthews Band CD and he asked if I liked DMB, and I said that I would except I hate the saxophone a lot.)

Creepy Dude: "Okay, so hypothetically...and this is just for the sake of the story...let's say it's a few years down the road. We're married (what?), got a couple of kids (WHAT?!), and one day, you come home from work and catch me playing the saxophone. What do you do?"

Me: "Instant divorce. Oh crap, I'm late for choir practice." (Not even kidding on that...I really was late.)

And to top it all off, even though the TV is actually very light and the box has very accessible handles, and even though I said, "It's okay, I've got it," he decides that he needs to call someone from another department over to watch the electronics boat while he carries the thing out to my car, claiming that "it's all part of the Target experience." Trust me, I know about the elements of the Target experience, and having one's TV carried to one's car by a creeper is not a part of that equation.

After that, I vowed never to return to that Target store ever again.

Fast-forward to Sunday, May 2. Before I go any further, you should know that there are two Target stores within my general vicinity...in fact, it takes exactly the same amount of time to get from my apartment to both of them. So if I ever need to go to Target, I always go to the one that does not contain the creeper. But next door to the Creeper Target, there is a Sam's Club where I go sometimes to buy youth ministry stuff. For Sunday's youth group meeting, I needed to get some juice boxes, shaving cream, two hula hoops, a bouncy ball, and some play-doh, so I headed up to Sam's. However...Sam's does not have toys. I was already running a bit short on time, so...I had no choice but to go to the Creeper Target (though believe me, I considered driving fifteen minutes in the opposite direction to avoid it). I walked into the store, already freaking out because the toy section is right across the aisle from the electronics boat and AHHHHH what if he's there and he tries to talk to me and blah blah blah?!?! I generally overthink things anyhow, so I was feeling a bit paranoid about the whole thing. Clearly.

I walked to the back side of the toy section, and I was literally peeking around every aisle (like a ninja) to see if he was there. After sneaking around for a little bit, I saw the hula hoops and got really excited! But before I could take a closer look, I saw...him...and freaked out. I immediately turned around and walked away really quickly to get my head together, and to get the shaving cream on the other side of the store. I actually contemplated changing the activities for youth group so I wouldn't have to go back to the toy section, but I knew I couldn't completely give up because the things we were doing were SUPER FUN.

And then...I got a brilliant idea. So I confidently walked back to the toy section, ready to put my genius plan into action. When I rounded the corner, I got out my phone, and just as I approached the hula hoops for the second time, I "answered" it. As you may or may not know, I am really good at engaging in fake telephone conversations...so that's what I did for ten minutes as I looked for the play-doh and bouncy balls. I figured the plan would work on multiple levels:

1. No stranger would ever interrupt a telephone conversation unless absolutely necessary.

2. Why would I even think to look over at the electronics section if I were so engrossed in conversation? That's right, no possibility of eye contact.

3. I really like engaging in fake telephone conversations.

And that is the story of how I avoided a creeper. Looking back, I wonder why I didn't actually call someone...I guess #3 above may have something to do with it...

So what about you? Any fun creeper stories to tell?

Love you, miss you, blah blah blah...

i wish that some fireflies would give ME dancing lessons

First, please watch this video...it's this dude named Sam Tsui doing a cover of the song "Fireflies" by Owl City. He recorded himself doing all the different parts and then made a video of it using the magic of technology. It's brilliant, and (in my humble opinion) way better than the original! So...just watch:



This morning, I woke up and sang at 7:00am Mass. Whew. Only by the grace of God was I able to perform that feat. Obviously I was tired, so as soon as I got back to my apartment I went back to bed for another hour...and I experienced the most realistic dream I've ever had in my entire life.

In this dream, I was leaving St. T's after Mass, and the parking lot was almost empty. This family in a big white SUV started circling around me, closer and closer, really slowly. Just as they were about to hit me, I rolled down my window and yelled at them, "What the heck [okay, I didn't say heck] are you doing?!" and they just looked at me and kept going. Then I thought (just as I would have in real life), "Oh no, now those parishioners are going to think I'm a mean person and won't let their kids come to youth group because this is the only contact I've had with them. CRAP!" So anyway, they pushed my car a little ways (not sure how, but...it was a dream, so it just happened.) Needless to say, I was SO MAD, so what did I do? I drove to a different part of the parking lot so I could watch them as they continued their circles, get their license plate information, and give it to Fr. Bob so he would kick them out of the parish, of course! But when I got out of my car, I stepped in a pothole...and I knew they were watching me, so I tried to make it seem like it was on purpose. And all of a sudden, I was in the kitchen of my really old house (the one in Ranier, MN from when I was very small--but it was in PA and doubled as the St. T's parish office). The secretary at St. T's was there, along with another random person and...my mom! I noticed that she was wearing a new wig and figured it was just because her hair was growing funny or something. I was just about to call Fr. Bob when my mom just started talking to him on the phone. I kept trying to interrupt and give her the info to give to him (like when I was little and would always bug my mom when she was on the phone), but she just ignored me and kept talking. I kept at it, though, and I was right next to her ear...so when she finally got too frustrated, she turned really fast and hit me in the nose with her head. I was like, "Mom. That really hurt." (And it DID!) And then I woke up to my alarm. It was weird.

Again, I have wasted your time on something uninteresting. But it was SO REAL! You have no idea how disoriented I was when I woke up. Yikes!

Okay, what else...last night, I went to this thing called Catholic Underground with Erin (she's one of my awesome Core Team members who volunteers with the youth group, and one of the only people I know here who is my age). The night was sweet. There's a Holy Hour and the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and then there's music and food afterward. I've had a lot on my heart lately, so it was absolutely wonderful to go to Confession. What a perfect way to start the season of Lent! I feel so much more able to keep my Lenten resolution now that I have a clean slate...it's hard to explain. It's like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders or something. So for a couple of days, at least, I will have that invincible feeling of grace that says, "I'M NEVER GOING TO SIN AGAIN!" And then I'll punch a kitten and that feeling will go away. Just kidding, I would never punch a kitten...unless it clawed me in the face and set my apartment on fire. But I know that something ELSE will happen and I will be unpleasantly reminded of my humanity. I guess that's why we have Jesus!

Looks like I'm working backwards...so on to Saturday morning. I watched the movie WALL-E (yeah Netflix!) and it was so good! It's so amazing how they can have Wall-E and Eve express so much without really using any words. Easily one of the better movies I've seen lately--I would highly recommend it, if only for the BRILLIANT end credits. Seriously.

Friday night, I worked at my first St. T's Fish Fry. Now I don't want to brag or anything, but our fish fry is SO AWESOME. I got to run orders back and forth between the take-out area and the kitchen. Basically, it was rushing around for three straight hours...and I loved every minute! Plus I got some delicious fish, and the best macaroni and cheese in the world! Is there a better combination?! (Answer: NO!)

Okay, today we're having our First Annual Youth Ministry Family Potluck...so I have to go do stuff. Wahoo! I'm so excited! We have something like 50 people coming, and I need to go get some lasagna and put the finishing touches on a prayer service! I LOVE MY JOB!

Love you, miss you, blah blah blah!

i made it myself!

Last night, there was freezing rain in the Burgh. Just thought I'd mention that because, well, it's some nasty stuff and doesn't happen too often here in my estimation. Then again, snow doesn't usually happen on fourteen of the first eighteen days of February in Pittsburgh either, but would you look at that--the snowiest month on record!

So I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but I'm going on vacation to Rome with my parents...in eleven days. I am beyond stoked at this point, and I just can't believe that it's already here! We've got some exciting stuff planned, including a day trip to Assisi, a Scavi tour, and a Wednesday general audience with none other than B16 himself!

That's right...THE POPE.

Back in my bedroom at my mom and dad's house, I have a list pinned to my wall: Ten Things To Do Before I Die. I made it several years ago, and I still think about it often. But what is first on the list, you might ask yourself? Why, See the Pope, of course! And as of two Wednesdays from now, I will officially be able to check that one off my list. And THAT is exciting!

But this trip is more than just a check-off for me. I've been thinking about Lent a lot lately (say that five times fast: Lent a lot lately, Lent a lot lately...), and how I can really enter into this beautiful season of preparation for the death and resurrection of Jesus. So the more I think about this trip and the closer it gets, the more I see it as a sort of Lenten pilgrimage. It's hard to explain. I just feel like...I don't know...I guess if I'm going to be in a place that holds so much history and heritage and significance for my faith, I can't pass up the opportunity to give the trip some deeper meaning other than simply "vacation." I'll definitely keep a journal, and maybe I'll even post some of it here when I get back (or each night if I can find me some WiFi action).

In other Lenten news, I finally discerned last night what I'm "giving up" this year. I didn't want to pick something like chocolate or sweets. That works for some people, but it seems that every time I've done it in the past, I've started it with good intentions but always ended up doing it for me, not for God (and throwing daily pity parties as well). So this year, I'm doing something different. I've decided that I am going to wake up each morning no later than 7:15 (that's where the sacrifice comes in--I'm giving up my sleep...and I am not a morning person!), and start my day with a solid half hour of prayer. You might think, "Well gosh, Jessie, I just assumed that you already did that." And I'm embarrassed to say that when it comes to keeping a regular prayer schedule, I am the worst. It's not that I never pray, it's that I don't devote a chunk of time to structured prayer throughout my day--so I think this will be helpful in giving me structure for my personal prayer practice. And on top of that, it will be beneficial to my ministry, because it's impossible to have a good ministry if one's personal spirituality is lacking. As the saying goes, you can't give what you don't have!

For no good reason at all, I would like to tell you a funny story. Apparently, back in the day, the pope (JPII at the time, not that it matters, even in all his coolness) visited a Latin American country. Can't remember which, but for the purposes of this story, it isn't really relevant. Just know that wherever he went, the people there spoke Spanish. Well, there was this guy from the U.S. who thought to himself, "I'm going to make a profit out of the pope's visit! I shall make a thousand T-shirts to commemorate the occasion, and a thousand people will buy them, and I shall be rich! Brilliant!" So the guy printed off a thousand shirts that said "I saw the Pope" in Spanish. However, when the day came, he was standing on the side of the street selling the shirts...and no one was buying them. He was like, "Well this sucks...I thought people would be buying these things like crazy! I just lost a ton of money! What's the deal?!" Well, he later found out the importance of using correct articles when speaking (or in this case, printing shirts) in Spanish. For he discovered that there is a distinct difference between saying "Vi el Papa" (I saw the Pope) and "Vi la papa" (...I saw the potato).

Last thing: if you have any intentions/petitions/prayers that you would like me to offer up while I'm on my pilgrimage to the Vatican, I would be more than happy to do so. Leave a comment below, e-mail me, send me a message on Facebook, or send me a letter, and I will be sure to offer up your intentions!

Love you, miss you, blah blah blah!

apple cores

All in all, this was a very exciting weekend--more exciting than most, anyway!

I went skiing with the Campbells on Saturday and Sunday, which was SUPER FANTASTIC--I spent the day skiing with two of the guys from my youth group, Jeremy and another kid named Nick. It was so fun...I hadn't been skiing in years, so I started the day by taking a quick run down the bunny hill just to get my "ski legs" working again. I was surrounded by little children who were learning how to snowboard and stuff. They were funny. Especially when they fell down. But then again, you could say the same for me.

On our second-to-last run, I took the most EPIC fall ever. I mean, we're talking flying through the air, flipping over a couple of times, losing one of my skis, my helmet flying off. EPIC. I have a nasty bruise on my left leg (which sucks because that's the side I usually sleep on), but other than being a bit sore, I didn't really get hurt. Though I did keep wondering to myself, Is it possible to get a concussion without knowing it? (If you know the answer, please leave me a comment or something, because even though I'm fairly certain I did not get a concussion, I am very curious now if it's possible!) The Fall happened right next to a chair lift full of people (which had STOPPED for some reason), and I could see them all staring at me and hear them all going, "Ohhhh!" and laughing and stuff. Heck, I was even laughing! I can only imagine what I must have looked like. I figure, I would have laughed at someone else if they had fallen, so I didn't mind ONE BIT if people laughed at me!

In other local news, last night was the spring semester kick-off for youth group. It was pretty fun--nothing too structured, but we did have a giant Catch Phrase tournament and played Bananagrams and whatnot. In addition to a bunch of junk food, I had bought a veggie tray and a fruit tray at Sam's...but then I forgot them in my refrigerator at home, so now I have two giant trays of fruit/veggies sitting in my fridge. I'll have to pay the church some money since I'll be the only one eating the stuff...but OH WELL! I had some yogurt and pineapple chunks for breakfast this morning, which was delightful.

And if you're wondering, NO! I DON'T HAVE TO DYE MY HAIR!!! (Phew!) We had somewhere between 25 and 30 kids come, so...no blue or purple hair for me. It was still a good time, though! Apparently, the bulk mailing I spent hours working on this past week didn't get to the families in time--which I was kind of relying on to get the word out about the kick-off. Grr, United States Postal Service!

I have a love/hate relationship with the USPS. I so appreciate how they deliver letters and care packages (HINT) and forgotten Christmas presents right to my door! BUT the process of preparing and sending bulk mailings is so utterly filled with red tape and ridiculousness that I can't help but shoot death lasers out of my eyeballs at them whenever I think about it. I would totally devote an entire post to how truly absurd the stupid little rules are at the USPS, but then you might think that I'm one of those ultra-annoying people who complains about little things all the time...and I know how irritating that is, so I shall spare you the gory details of bulk mailings.

And now, I am going to go shopping. Love you! Miss you! Be well!

finger weaving

EMBED THAT! HaHA, technology! What now?! You ain't got NOTHIN' on me!! (Well...maybe just a few things...)



I do love learning things.

i have a hammer

Ohhh man, I am the happiest kid in the world.

I finally took the time to make back-up copies of all the music I had on my old computer (that freaking paperweight, ugh) and transfer it onto my new computer! So I've been rocking out (uh, by myself) in my apartment ALL NIGHT. Oh T.I., Ellis, Noah and the Whale, Adele, HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL...how I have missed you all. Really, this situation is kind of pathetic for two reasons:

1. It took me how long to do this? Like, five months? That's roughly how long it's been since I got my new computer. Laaaaame, self. Ultra lame.
2. The amount of excitement in my heart is massive. Seriously, it's kind of ridiculous how much this made my day. Maybe even my weekend. I think I might even put it on the same level as the wonderful Thanksgiving I had, just in different categories.

Anyway, I have discovered a new obsession in the comedic and musical stylings of two guys called Rhett and Link. Here is a video they did of a song about Sudoku. Fantastic. I would also recommend the Fast Food Folk Song and the Profanity and Unicorns Song. (If I knew how to embed videos in this blog, I totally would...but I don't know how, despite the fact that I just used the term "embed videos" which would indicate even a slightly higher level of familiarity with the bloggin' thing than reality would reveal. Or not.)

I have Christmas lights in my living room. I love them. I just wish I had a tree. Or an Advent wreath. Maybe I could make one...hmm. I was also thinking it might be fun to color some pictures of a nativity set and stick it on my (incredibly bare) walls. Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. The only problem is that I severely lack the drawing skillz, so perhaps I shall have to keep it simple: stick figures with clothes on and sheep that look like clouds. At least I know the straw will look sweet.