spreading the cheer like cream cheese on a bagel

I spoke about this on the video in my last post, but I figured I'd say it again here just in case you are a) impatient and don't want to sit through a whole video, or b) unable to watch videos for some reason.

So here's what's going on. This Advent, I've made a resolution not to buy any presents (I made a couple, but that was months ago so it doesn't count). I've also decided to take a fast from buying things I don't need...so no Starbucks, no iTunes downloads, no going out to eat, no random Target purchases. Just rent, bills, and groceries.

It might be easy to take all that extra money (because I've discovered that it really adds up quick) and just stash it away or something...but I've decided to take that money that I would have spent on random crap/Christmas presents, and make a donation to a charity. After asking for suggestions on my Facebook page, I decided to donate to an organization called Heifer International. They do really great things, so you should check out their website to learn more about their work and their philosophy--mostly because it seems silly for me to type it all out when they've already got it posted themselves.

If you go to their website and click the big red GIVE button, you can look at their gift catalog. My goal is to donate what's called the "Milk Menagerie"--but it's $1000. So that's where I'm looking to you. If you're interested in helping out with this project, you can contact me here on the blog, or via Facebook/e-mail, OR by calling me. A few people have already committed to donating with me, and we've got about $400 so far--only $600 to go!

I think this is a do-able thing. I think the people I associate with are generous people. It doesn't matter if you can donate $10 or $100...every dollar counts. So if you want to help, please get a hold of me sometime this week and we'll go from there. THANKS, people! You are wonderful...or as my favorite college professor would say, "I think you're awesome, do you know that?"

Love you, miss you, blah blah blahhhhhhh!

back from the dead...and then back to the dead...wait, what?

Before you keep reading, watch this video...it's a bit long, but it might put you in good spirits for the sad, disappointing, potentially soul-crushing news to follow. (If you don't have time to watch the entire 8.5 minute video, skip to about 3:06 for the most important part.)



So remember: if you want to get involved with this super sweet project, let me know as soon as possible!

Okay, now that you've seen that, you're ready for something of a bummer. Basically, the Grid Project is dead. As much as I loved doing it for the first several months, I started to get burned out. This isn't to say that I stopped doing exciting/adventurous/good-for-me things...I figured out after the novelty wore off that doing it in such an organized fashion only resulted in doing things out of guilt or obligation instead of the reasons I started the GP in the first place--making myself a better, more well-rounded, adventurous person. I think those are all things that happened, but I have to ask myself:

Is it really worth the guilt/negative feelings? And the answer was a resounding "NO WAY, JOSE! That is quite the opposite of what you're trying to accomplish!"

So...it's done. But I'm okay with it, and I hope you will be too. I'll try to update here more, but the GP updates are no more.

Well, I'm off to do some work stuff...love you, miss you, blah blah blahhhhh!

time out

I know...you were probably expecting a GP update. But unfortunately, I have to put my updating on hold for a bit. Basically, I'm writing this from my bedroom in my parents' house in Minnesota, and the next few days are going to be a little chaotic.

What?! Jessie, did you have a secret trip to Minnesota planned that you didn't tell us about because you were afraid we would stalk you or something? Well, no.

Basically, my Grampa (my dad's dad) passed away on Wednesday, so I'm home for a few days for the funeral and stuff. So for once I'm actually giving you a reason for not updating this blog as often as I should. Please keep my Grampa and family in your thoughts and prayers...and I'll catch you on the flip side, or at least when I get back to the Burgh.

Love you, miss you, blah blah blah...

grid project - week 11

Sunday, August 1: Attended a Latin Mass.
The first and only other time I had been to a Latin Mass was a couple of years ago when I was in Washington, D.C. for a youth climate conference. It was terrible--not because of the content itself (how could something as beautiful as the Eucharist be terrible?), but because I didn't understand what was going on. So this time, I went with a friend who frequents the Latin Mass at Holy Wisdom Parish on the North Side, and who was gracious enough to lend me a missal, complete with translations and bookmarks and whatnot. I was really surprised at the Latin Mass, especially after my bad experience with it in D.C.--I think now I can appreciate the opportunity that it provides for personal prayer and contemplation of the Eucharist. I definitely prefer the Novus Ordo Mass--the "regular" Mass for most of us--but I'm very glad for the opportunity to experience the Latin Mass in a more positive light.

Monday, August 2: Went mini-golfing.
I hadn't been mini-golfing in ages, so as a little "last hurrah" before my friend Dan left to do NET Ministries, we decided to go! It was pretty fun--the place we went to has two courses, one of which is suuuuper old...like, I'm pretty sure it's a historic something-or-other. Either way, it was a jolly good way to say "Adios!" to Dan before he made the trip out to Minnesota to start his NET training.

Tuesday, August 3: Survived a near-breakdown.
I had some unexpected drama come my way from Minnesota that I'd rather not go into detail about. But suffice it to say that I had a major freak-out which nearly ended in copious amounts of yelling and crying...but which got sorted out before too much of that happened--for which we should all be very grateful.

Wednesday, August 4: Discovered duck-pin bowling.
Ahhhh, Summer Stretch...teaching me new things, exposing me to new activities and opportunities. Like duck-pin bowling! It's basically the same as bowling...only mini! So the pins are about two-thirds the size of normal bowling pins, and the ball is super small too. So our social activity in the afternoon was to go duck-pin bowling. I was really only half-there all day (having lost a good bit of sleep over the drama mentioned above), so I didn't actually play...but it was still fun to watch the kids play and to discover the game's existence. It's the cutest bowling ever!

Thursday, August 5: Participated in Learning Days with the Benedictine Sisters of Erie.
Each August, the Benedictine Sisters of Erie have something called "Learning Days." They bring in a theologian to speak for two days on a particular topic, and they invite all of their Sisters and Oblates to be a part of it. Since I'm in the process of becoming an Oblate, I was also included on their invitation list. The person they brought in was Fr. Dick Sparks, a Paulist priest, who talked about Catholic morality. I was only able to attend the second day (due to Summer Stretch on Wednesday), but it was a really lovely day: back in the "learning mode" that I kind of forgot about after college, out of the Burgh, at a place I hope will become a sort of second home to me during my time in Pennsylvania.

Friday, August 6: Went to Starbucks with one of my youth.
(Sidenote: I keep reading articles where young people are referred to as "youths," and I think that sounds funny. Like, I actually chuckle to myself when I read anything about "youths"...anyway.) I met up with one of my girls and had a lovely little chat. I love relational ministry, I really do!

Saturday, August 7: Got back into the Lectio groove.
As part of my preparation to become an Oblate, I'm expected to pray regularly using a particularly Benedictine prayer form called Lectio Divina (Latin for "sacred reading"). Lectio is a way to read and reflect on a passage by taking a small chunk of text and reading it multiple times, deepening your reflection with each reading. My explanation doesn't do it any justice at all, but it's a wonderful way to pray, especially if you have a hard time knowing what to say/do in prayer. Normally you do Lectio with a passage from Scripture...but since I'm becoming a Benedictine Oblate, and one of the other expectations is that I study the Rule of Benedict, I decided to do something a little different--I take a small section from the Rule each day and pray through it the same way I would through Scripture. And I have to tell you...I love it. There's so much wisdom packed into the Rule. It's hard to believe that it was written over 1500 years ago!

Alright, one more done! Now I think I'm going to go grocery shopping. YAY! I love grocery shopping so much!

grid project - week 9

What?! Two posts in one day?! That's madness, I tell you, MADNESS!

Sunday, July 18: Rode to Boone County, West Virginia for a mission trip.
What I didn't include in the last post was that the Saturday night I got back from Minnesota was also the night of the softball lock-in...so I was up until about 2am for that, and then woke up at 5am to pack for a week-long mission trip with an organization called Appalachia Service Project. I took a couple of kids from my parish, but we were with a larger group from St. Alexis up the road. I really wanted to see what it was like (without the pressure of bringing a ton of kids) so I can grow the group next year. So after 8am Mass at St. Alexis, we were off! That said, everything for Week 9 of the Grid Project has to do with learning skills and having fun on the mission trip. WOO!

Monday, July 19: Caulked the seams on the foundation of a house.
Yep. I think several of these things will be pretty self-explanatory.

Tuesday, July 20: Learned how to play Euchre.
Euchre is one of those old people card games that folks get really intense about in nursing homes. And apparently, so do the folks from St. Alexis Life Teen. So I learned how to play! It's kind of like Hearts, but not. I don't know how to explain it, really. Either way, it was pretty fun--maybe I can go volunteer at a nursing home and play Euchre with the residents or something...though I'm not sure who would want to be my partner. There's a distinct difference between knowing how to do something and being good at it.

Wednesday, July 21: Installed soffit on a house.
Soffit is cool stuff. Click here for a picture of how soffit, fascia (read "FAY-sha"), and gutters are supposed to work together on a house. Unfortunately, the soffit, fascia, and gutters for the house we were working on was absolutely terrible. So what did we do? We replaced it, of course...or at least started to. It was pretty intense. We got about half of the front side of the house done (about 30 feet of it) by the time we were done on Friday.

Thursday, July 22: Learned how to use a pop rivet gun.
Pop rivets are sweet, but I still haven't quite figured out how they work. For the sake of our argument, let's just assume it's magic. However pop rivets work, I got to do it. I felt really cool too. It was interesting how the roles of our crew members sort of decided themselves almost immediately when we started work on Monday...and how much they were determined by gender. You know, the girls doing things like painting and cleaning, and the guys doing...manly stuff, with power tools and the like. Of course, I'm not one to just accept gender stereotypes, so I was up on the ladder as much as possible--or using a drill, or a pop rivet gun, or a table saw.

Friday, July 23: Went to prom!
This one's going to take a lot of explaining, in two parts. First--the prom itself. ASP does fundraising within each week of service to help pay for the materials used at the work sites. The main way they do this is through something called Penny Wars, which is a competition between all the work crews. As an incentive to raise lots of money, the staff sets various benchmarks for dollar amounts. One of those benchmarks happened to be...a PROM. So naturally, we got a prom on Friday night. Now on to the second factor--chores. At the beginning of the week, we were separated into work crews. In addition to working together at our job sites throughout the week, we were also responsible for doing chores together every day. There was a giant chart in the hallway with various chores next to each crew's name. One unique chore is called "staff love," which involves showing the five staff members that you love them and appreciate all the hard work they do, and which we were assigned on Friday. It could be something simple like making them cards or buying their favorite snacks at the store...but our work crew is not the simple kind of crew. We staged an elaborate ceremony at the prom involving a scavenger hunt, each of the staff members' favorite Dairy Queen Blizzard, and all of it culminating in the staff members walking into a pitch black gymnasium, the lights flicking on, and the staff members being crowned the kings and queens of the prom. It went so well...I couldn't imagine it going any more perfectly than it did. And after that, we went back to dancing the night away. It was SO AWESOME! And I think the staff felt loved!

Saturday, June 24: Took a really nice shower and slept in a bed.
After a full week of sleeping on the floor and being in a constant state of dirtiness, it was absolutely heavenly to be able to sleep in my own bed and take a decent shower. It also made me think about all the blessings I have, and about how much I take them for granted sometimes. All in all, it was a very powerful and life-changing week, and one that I can't WAIT to be a part of next year!

And now, I'm going to sleep. It's way past my bedtime, and I've got a dreadful cold. Love you, miss you, blah blah blahhhhh...ahhh...ahhhhhhhh...ACHOO!

grid project - week 8

Ohhhhhh man. I am behind on this stuff. Well! Let's dive right in then, shall we? Last I recall, I was still in Minnesota...*cue dream sequence*

Sunday, July 11: Had dinner with the parents and some family friends in Dorset, MN.
Dorset is a funny little town that my family has visited every couple of years since I was little. It's full of restaurants and shops that span the length of about two blocks or so...they print an Onion-like newspaper every year and elect a "mayor" by having the people who visit Dorset pay a dollar to put their name in the running. Their website has an article about last year's mayor that had me giggling a few times, which you can find here (scroll down to the heading "Dorset Mayor Race"). Again, as you read it, keep in mind that Dorset is super small and, in fact, unincorporated. Gotta love rural Minnesota. Anyway, a bunch of us piled in a few cars and drove to Dorset to eat at the best Mexican restaurant ever (Compañeros) before heading over to Dorset House for the most delicious ice cream cones in all the world. It was a blast!


Monday, July 12: Visited Grampa in International Falls.
My Grampa is one old dude. I'm pretty sure he'll be something like 94 next month, so as you can imagine, things are starting to wind down for him. His memory is slipping a bit, he's losing motivation, that kind of thing. Every time I'm in Minnesota I make sure to take a day and drive up to the Falls to see him, which usually involves Bingo, a game of cribbage, and a cookie or two from my Gramma's super special cookie jar. Grampa brought it with him when he moved out of the house and into the assisted living place, and now has it in his room at the nursing home. My Gramma died when I was a sophomore in high school, but Grampa always keeps a good assortment of cookies in the jar...which we grandkids just love! I also like hearing his stories about the different jobs he had growing up--working in the logging camps when he was seventeen, or climbing towers to change lightbulbs as an electrician...my Grampa is quite possibly the most hardcore person ever. I'm glad that I get to hear about his life, even if he doesn't quite remember who I am.


Tuesday, July 13: Spent the day in the hospital.
This was the big day of my mom's surgery. For those who might not be aware, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2009 and has been dealing with the aftermath ever since: a right-side mastectomy followed by months of chemotherapy and radiation, and a few other preventative procedures...but all with a smile on her face, which is astounding. Anyway, the purpose of this surgery was to do a left-side mastectomy and to begin the reconstructive process. Sooo we piled in the car at 7:00am and arrived at Abbott Northwestern Hospital in the Cities a little before noon, checked Mom in, waited for a couple of hours until her surgery started, and then sat around for about ten hours while Mom had her surgery and spent time in recovery. Dad and I finished a puzzle in the waiting room and watched a couple of documentaries on PBS (one about two jumbo jets that crashed into each other, and one about two ships that crashed into each other...I'm sensing a theme here). And around midnight, we got to a family friend's house and spent the night there. Mom did great, and so did her surgeons!


Wednesday, July 14: Had lunch with an old friend.
I spent Wednesday visiting my college...ahhhhh nostalgia! I hung around my orchestra director's office for a bit and heard about all of his adventures, and then I headed over to the other campus to visit with my academic advisor and to see how things are going at my former place of employment (the School of Theology, where I was an office assistant). While I was at the SOT, one of my college friends (who is now doing grad school work there) stopped by unexpectedly and we went over to the fancy new Refectory to have some lunch. All in all, it was a wonderful conversation. We were on quite opposite ends of the theological spectrum in college, but lots of things have changed for both of us these last few years, and it was great to have a civil, meaningful discussion about theology and whatnot. I also had dinner with another college friend in St. Cloud, which is about fifteen minutes from campus. So much good conversation that day!


Thursday, July 15: Went to a Bastille Day party.
One thing that you can bet on when my close group of friends and I get together is that the making and eating of food will be involved. So since Bastille Day was on Wednesday, we decided to celebrate with a party at Robert's house! Lots of good food, good friends, and late night conversation was to be had, since many of us have been spread across the globe this year and hadn't seen each other since last summer. So we had quiche, Niçoise salad, yummy bread, and some super amazing chocolate mousse, and just enjoyed each other's company while we could! I spent the night at Robert's house and then woke up bright and early on Friday to go visit a fellow youth minister/college friend at her parish in Monticello.


Friday, July 16: Had dinner with friends at Pizza Luce in Minneapolis.
After returning form Monticello, I went to Minneapolis with Christa where my friends Jo, Karen, and Laura live. (Well, Laura got a place closer to campus with Madeline since then, so technically it's just Jo and Karen now, but WHO CARES?! You get the idea!) Anyway, we went to dinner and had a grand old time. Pizza Luce is a really cool place, but GOODNESS ME, THE HIPSTERS! All we could do was laugh...I mean, look at them--trying so hard to look like they aren't trying hard to be the coolest thing since the refrigerator. Slouchy hats, flannel, ironic t-shirts, skinny jeans, choppy haircuts, scarves galore, thick-rimmed glasses, obscure musical taste...need I go on?! There's a reason that Pizza Luce was voted "Best Place to People Watch" in 2008.


Saturday, July 17: Navigated the flight home with EASE!
I'd say that's pretty self-explanatory. No bad weather, no near misses, no screaming babies, nothing. It was great. I actually really like flying alone. Don't know why...I just do.


Phew! One more week down, and...so many more to go. AHHHHH! Stay tuned!


Love you, miss you, blah blah blahhhhh...

grid project - week 5

Your weekly GP update (sorry it's a day late!):

Sunday, June 20: Went to Third Service.
Third Service is a contemporary worship service at a non-denominational church up the road from me...I have been meaning to go check it out for several months, but I finally got around to going for the first time on Sunday. While it's nothing like the Catholic Mass, I really enjoyed it a lot, especially the music. They do several praise and worship songs at the beginning, say the Lord's Prayer and Apostles' Creed, and then do a sermon on a Scripture passage...and they encourage folks to bring their own Bible so they can follow along and make notes, which I always appreciate. I am definitely planning on going to Third Service as much as I can this summer (in addition to Mass, of course). I think it's going to be a nice supplemental experience for me--something away from my parish so I can really focus without all the distractions of worshiping where I work.

Monday, June 21: Learned a new song on the guitar.
I learned how to play "Eleanor Rigby"...the chords are about the easiest thing in the entire world (literally, C - Em - Em7 - Em6), but the rest (the finger picking and all) is kind of difficult for me since I'm self-taught...so I stuck with the chords. Maybe someday I'll be able to play it all fancy-like, but this is good enough for now!

Tuesday, June 22: (though it applies for this entire week) Survived a bunch of elementary school kids.
Though it might not seem like much of a feat for most well-adjusted adults, it's a serious challenge for me. I was in some skits for Vacation Bible School at my church all last week...and I really don't like kids, so I struggled a lot with it. I know, I know: "But Jessie, aren't you a youth minister?!" Well yeah, because I can deal with middle schoolers and high schoolers...but any younger than that and I go nuts. Maybe someday I'll be able to handle spending significant amounts of time with small children, but for now...nope. Not there yet.

Wednesday, June 23: Did ALL of my laundry.
I'm the type of person who waits until the last possible moment to do laundry. Normally, I just do a couple of loads and have a bunch of clothes left in the hamper. I think, "No problem, I can just do the rest tomorrow!" or something equally ridiculous and improbable...and then the next time I see that awesome shirt is the next time I find it in the bottom of the hamper and say, "I'll do it tomorrow." So on Wednesday, I did all of my laundry. All of it. And it felt AMAZING!!! Yeah...

Thursday, June 24: Read a book for leisure.
I know, seems pretty commonplace, right? Well, it should be, but it isn't. I hardly ever take the time to just sit and read a good book...so I think I'm going to change that by making a conscious effort to read at least a few pages every day. Seems like a good summer project, right? I also want to get back into some of my theology books from college. As crazy as it sounds coming from a person who struggled a lot in school, I've found that I really miss learning.

Friday, June 25: Encountered a GDC without screaming, but instead delivering a clever CSI-like one-liner.
Mmmmmhmm, you can say it. I'm a total BA. So I found another Giant Demon Centipede in my bathroom. I calmly went into the kitchen, got my trusty green creepy-crawly-catcher cup, trapped the GDC in it, and because I had to leave and didn't have time to take it outside, I looked down on it with squinty eyes and said, "Now you stay in there and think about what you've done." Okay, probably not the cleverest thing in the world, but it sounded cool at the time. Never mind that I was talking to a centipede.

Saturday, June 26: Cheered on some friends at a softball game.
The other coaches for the St. T's softball team are all on a team together, so I decided to go to one of their games...it was pretty exciting--it was interesting to see how different grown-ups play than high schoolers. For one, there was wayyyy less walking (like, four-balls-and-you-automatically-go-to-first-base kind of walking) and things were a lot faster. It was a good way to spend an hour, anyway! And I learned more about the game, which is always helpful. Annnnnnd I was very impresssed with my fellow coaches too...they really played great!

Okie dokie, that's it! Until next time...

grid project - week 3

Your weekly GP update:

Sunday, June 6: Saw the Avett Brothers in concert.

I don't really think I need to talk more about this, since I already wrote a whole post on it. But let me say once again that it was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. AMAZING!

Monday, June 7: Cleaned my apartment.

It was badly needed. Like...reeeeeally badly needed. So I did it! Anyone who's ever lived with me knows that it's difficult for me to give a flying rat's nose about how tidy my living space is...so it took a heck of a lot of willpower for me to clean everything up. (SIDENOTE: The GDC [that is, GIANT DEMON CENTIPEDE] made another appearance just moments ago. But this time, I didn't scream. AHHHHHH. Well, I dunno...does a digital scream count?)

Tuesday, June 8: Squeezed some lemons.

I know this seems kind of silly, but I'd never squeezed lemons before, and we were having lemon oregano chicken for dinner, so I was charged with this difficult task. And don't worry--I completely prevailed. Who's "we," you ask? Well! Tuesday was an exciting day, because I spent most of it with a fellow youth minister who works down the road (Caroline), her husband (Chris), and their two daughters (one's two and the other is nine months). Caroline and I have similar interests (namely, social justice-y things) and we have very complimentary personalities, so it was nice to spend time together--we accidentally locked ourselves out of her car (thank you, AAA membership! I knew I'd need you someday!), perused the Ten Thousand Villages Store, went to the South Side farmers market, had some delicious dinner, and generally just had some good conversation. It was a wonderful day, and I hope Caroline, Chris, and I can continue to get to know one another and all that. So you see, squeezing lemons was one of many things I could have used...Tuesday was a great day!

Wednesday, June 9: Went for a late-night, post-thunderstorm walk through my neighborhood.

It was so nice...there was hardly any traffic, the stars were finally starting to peek through the clouds after several dreary days of rain, and I was able to sort through some complex thoughts I've had recently.

Thursday, June 10: Went early-morning grocery shopping.

Here's something you might not know about me: I absolutely love grocery shopping. Like, it's one of my very favorite things in the whole world. I especially like going when hardly anyone's there (so, either really early or really late). Even if I do go during a peak time (say, right when people get off work), I like being able to take my time, follow my list, and smile through the chaos. And even though I really could use the self-checkout line, I never do. I love talking with the folks who are working at the register...I remember what it was like to work at Target--having crabby and mean-spirited people snap at me for no reason, or not even acknowledge my existence aside from asking who to make the check out to, or get angry at me because of a store policy that I had nothing to do with creating...and I try to bring a little bit of sunshine to that person's day (or night, depending on when I go). This grocery shopping adventure was especially wonderful because this last month has been a little challenging financially and I was down to soup and sandwiches every day. I admit, I was getting a little stressed out and sick of it, but I kept reminding myself that it's good to want and need things, and it's good to know what it's like to not have something you need. (Sidenote: I should also mention that Pasutti and one of our other friends from CSB/SJU came up for the Ingrid Michaelson concert and it was fantastic...a beautiful night for an outdoor concert enjoyed with good company!)

Friday, June 11: Went to the Farmers Market!

HOORAY! I don't think you understand how much I love the farmers market. It's probably because I was utterly spoiled with the farmers market in St. Joe (the town where my college is located)...either way, I love the farmers market here. I got a bunch of stuff--strawberries (which turned out to be terrible and sour, but oh well...there's always next week!), fresh pasta (the dude who was working gave me an extra whole wheat spaghetti for free!), rhubarb, potatoes, and kettle corn. HOORAY AGAIN!

Saturday, June 12: Had two very nice telephone conversations.

I got to talk on the phone with a couple of my friends from college (separately, of course). I like maintaining those connections back home, whether it's letters or phone calls or Skype chats or whatever...though I've readily admitted before that those aren't ideal means of communication, they still matter to me, and I still get great amounts of joy at getting a letter in my mailbox, or hearing my phone ring and seeing a Minnesota area code, or watching a little conversation box pop up on my computer. So talking to Madeline and Laura was absolutely lovely.

Okay, sorry this is a bit late (not that you really care, I'd imagine)...tonight was a crazy night of youth ministry and I didn't get back to my apartment until 10:30 or so, and I had some other stuff to catch up on too! So please forgive me.

Love you, miss you, blah blah blah!

you should try pringles and cottage cheese together sometime

I've been thinking a lot recently about the last year of my life, and all the crazy sh...tuff that has occurred.

One year ago, my mom was recovering from surgery after being diagnosed with breast cancer. My sister and I were both back in Minnesota. I didn't have any real plans other than to "find a job." And now, my mom is healthy. I'm sitting in an apartment--my apartment--in Pennsylvania of all places. I have a job doing what I love. It's nuts to think about all the challenges and the blessings that I've experienced.

And today, I came across a reflection/article. It got me thinking, and it gave me an idea.

I'm going to recreate the grid from that article and put it on my wall. Each day, I will do one new/exciting/fulfilling/exceptionally awesome thing and write it in the square for that day. And I'm going to do that for a full year. I'll try really hard not to repeat anything (though it might happen, depending on the nature of the activity). I'm calling it my 2010-11 "Grid Project."

So I will do my best to give you a Grid Project update once a week. We'll say...oh, I don't know. How about Sundays? I'll figure it out. Either way, I hope you enjoy the Project as much as I do!

Now, I'm sure you probably have a couple good ideas of things I can do. Leave it in the comments or call me and tell me about it or something! Love you, miss you, blah blah blah...

butternut squash

It's been a while since I wrote about anything really substantial. It's one part "I kind of forgot about the blog" and two parts "I've been pretty busy"...the result is that I'm here, with lots to say and not much time in which to say it. So let's just dive right in, shall we?

It goes without saying that I've been up to my eyeballs in ministry stuff. Last Sunday was a successful night about the Trinity--complete with an extreme three-legged race because...well, why not do an extreme three-legged race on a night about the Trinity? It was super fun, but the teens were also able to take the topic seriously (and it's a really intense topic!) and reflect on what our response should be as people made in the image of the Triune God. I was really impressed with how well the youth did, and I'm very optimistic for how to go about covering those more serious topics in the future.

I saw my second production of Beauty and the Beast on Thursday night. It was really great, but I've noticed that the auditoriums (auditoria? Hmm...) in this area are very small. Like, you could probably fit four or five of the ones here into the one back at my high school. No wonder they're always bragging about having sold out shows--the venues are super small!

This afternoon, I'm going to another play. (I know, right?!) This one is called The Wiz. Should be good, I think--apparently it's a different take on The Wizard of Oz or something. I've got a couple of kids in it, so I figured I'd make an appearance at this play too, so as not to show favoritism.

On Tuesday, my good pal (Pasutti) came through the Burgh on her way to Virginia, so she and her mom stayed here overnight. It was so good to see her again, and to spend time with some people I know! It was a pretty chill couple of days, mostly watching movies and eating food and catching up on life and that kind of thing. It was just so good to see her again!

I can't recall if I've talked about this before, but talking about Pasutti's visit made me think of it. I'm a fairly touch-oriented person. I love hugs and just being close to people. I thrive on it. So when I moved out here to Pittsburgh, that aspect of my life was pretty much eliminated completely. I mean, I get the occasional hug from some of my "adoptive moms" here, and sometimes from my youth group kids...but other than that, I am pretty much starved of physical touch. At first, I didn't really notice it, but after a couple of months, it dawned on me that if there's one thing I miss about home, it's being able to hug the people I love--my mom and dad, my friends, even my dog! It really started to be real to me when I was working at the fish fry about a month ago. I was standing around talking to someone, and for some reason, they put their hand on my shoulder for a second. Not even kidding: I jumped because I was so startled by something so simple as physical touch.

I don't know, it's just little things like that that jolt me back to the reality that I'm very much alone here. I mean, of course I have people here who care about me and who I'm fairly close to, but there's just something different about having those relationships that have taken years to grow, where a hug contains within it all of the memories and experiences and late night conversations and resolved arguments and pain and joy of being together.

I miss that. I really do.

russian, spanish, french

My birthday was wonderful. I was on retreat with a bunch of other youth ministers from around the diocese, which was much needed and very refreshing! But it also got me to do a lot of thinking. Some of the following thoughts are my own personal reflections, but some are also things we talked about as a group throughout the retreat.

I've been really frustrated lately, because I feel a bit lost here, in the "big-picture" kind of way. I mean, I know God put me in Pittsburgh for a reason, I just haven't figured out what it is yet. And it's not like I'm not listening, either. I've really been trying to hear what God has had to say over these last few months...I just haven't heard a peep. Don't get me wrong--I absolutely love it here and wouldn't trade my experience for anything, I'd just really like to know the reason I've been called here. Of course, the obvious answer is "to do youth ministry, silly!" But here's the thing: there's more to me than ministry. At the end of the day, I'm not a youth minister, I'm not a cantor, I'm not even a website committee member (as awesome as that is, haha)...I'm a child of God. God loves me for who I am in God, not what I do for God. So there has to be another reason for me to be here. I just have to figure out what it is. So any time you're ready to tell me, God, I'm ready for it! Until then...I guess I'm just...growing?

So after all the retreat stuff on Tuesday, about ten of us piled into a few cars and went to a place called Wings, Suds, & Spuds. I had a strawberry milkshake and some macaroni and cheese bites (SO DELICIOUS!), and they even gave me an orange balloon because it was my birthday. So that was exciting...a very laid back birthday celebration, but very nice. And then it was back to retreat stuff on Wednesday. :)

Well, it's back to work now...I decided to spend the morning working from my very comfortable bed--I made some phone calls about the March for Life in Washington, DC next Friday, and I've been working a bit more on the semester curriculum for the youth ministry program. I've got most of it pretty well laid out until May, but there are a couple more details to work out so I don't have to keep putting all my time and energy each week into "AHHH what are we doing this weekend?!"-type stuff. It'll be a relief to get all that taken care of!

And ALSO! I need to get myself a Dairy Queen cake today or tomorrow. I mean, it's not just for me, of course--it's like in elementary school when you brought cupcakes for everyone on your birthday...only with grown-ups on the church staff instead of sugar-crazed little children. Yippee skippy! I looooooove ice cream cake. I might even share it with the teens on Sunday if there's any left over...or maybe I'll just take it home and keep it in my freezer just in case I need my sugar fix...

how the johnsons do christmas

I'm back in Minnesota! WHAAAAT?!

Yesterday, I spent some high quality time on airplanes and the like. I was greeted at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport by my friend S. Trish from St. Ben's. She was kind enough to bring me to the St. Cloud area, which was about an hour and a half that my mom didn't have to drive. After a bit of shopping (wahoo...), Mom and I drove the three hours up to B-Town. I spent a bit of time with some high school friends and two kittens, and then I went to bed because I was super tired from being awake for about...18 hours. Yesterday morning, I slept in until 10:30, then I had lunch with another one of my high school friends (SUP, MATT?!), got a haircut (yayyyyy), bought some books, mailed the rental car key back to Pgh, had dinner with some of my parents' friends, and watched It's A Wonderful Life with Tibby. I had never seen it before, so that was fun. I guess it's one of those things everyone is supposed to do...so I'm just catching up.

Okay, I don't understand children. The couple we had over for dinner last night have a two-year-old GENIUS of a daughter, and she actually asked who I was because she didn't recognize me. And after that, I basically had a leech clinging to me all night. She was super cute, but it was weird. Like, she was with me ALL THE TIME for a couple of hours. We played with some giant blocks and named the three wisemen in the nativity set (Pete, Sammy, and Charlie) and played the "What's that?" game with the objects on my Mika shirt and annoyed the cat. I don't know what her deal was...I thought children could smell fear?! Hmm.

I know I've been kind of big on the videos lately, but I don't care...and if you have a problem with it, you can just go chew on a stick!


Love you...hope you have a wonderful, joy-filled Christmas! Enjoy your time with family and friends--I know I am! And right now, I have to make a last-minute grocery store run...gotta love the Christmas Eve insanity.

Be well, folks! Baby Jesus loves you! :D

is that an urn?

First! THANK YOU to the SchwizZzle for sending me some SWEET ART. It is amazing, and I can't wait to buy some of those 3M sticky things to put it on the wall in my living room.

The last few days have been pretty busy, I guess. Lots of random meetings and networking things and diocesan stuff and whatnot...but I've been given tons of time throughout it all to reflect on things and to really embrace the season of Advent...which can be difficult to do when you work in ministry, mostly because December is the freaking BUSIEST MONTH EVER.

I'm still working on our Paint and Skate Lock-In for the 18th and 19th (that's this Friday and Saturday, AHHHHHHH). It's going to be interesting, to say the least. We're going ice skating at North Park, having midnight Mass with Fr. Bob, eating food, playing games, watching movies, and (most importantly!!!) painting the youth room. I'm really excited for this...like, BEYOND excited. Except for the whole 5:30pm to 7:00am thing. That's going to be a challenge. But I guess that's kind of the point of it, right?! I do love going over a day without sleep.

The decorating of my apartment has officially been taken to the next level: I have a Christmas tree!! Linda at work gave me a full six and a half foot tree, and Ted gave me some ornaments...so I threw some lights on that thing and bought a star and BAM--holiday cheer. But I didn't really have a good place to put it in the living room, so I moved my desk over a bit and now I have the tree in the corner of my bedroom. It is very festive. I'm going to add bows and ribbon and stuff too. Even though I'll be the only one to see it...I've decided that I am important, and I am awesome, and Christmas trees aren't just for people with roommates or families, so I deserve a freaking SWEET Christmas tree, even if it's just for me. I'm going all out, dang it!

In other news, I spent this morning with about two million small children. Or at least that's what it seemed like. St. Teresa's does this thing every year called Breakfast with Santa. It's a huge fundraiser for our parish mission, the Anna Seethaler Hospital in Oaxaca (say "wah-HA-kuh"), Mexico. Basically, for about two hours, something like a hundred VSP's (that's "very small persons" for those of you who are unaware) make crafts, sing songs, take pictures with Santa, and eat french toast sticks. And since I recruited a few of my youth to volunteer, I figured I should do it too, so I would experience what I was expecting/asking them to do.

Did I mention the clowns? There were clowns there. And they were scary. I locked myself in the youth room for a moment to gain my composure when I saw them walk into the social hall (SchwazZz, this reminded me of the oven mitt). Thankfully they left after a while...but the children were still there. VSP's scare me almost as much as clowns. They were yelling and crying and being messy and terrifying. I'm glad I don't have one of those yet. Maybe someday. It's all part of...

THE MASTER PLAN

PHASE 1: PLANTS.
I currently have four plants in my apartment. If I can keep them all alive for one year, then I am ready for...

PHASE 2: PUPPY.
I want a little one, you know, the kind that weighs like half a pound and doesn't have sharp teeth. And if I can keep THAT alive for NO LESS THAN five years (and find a nice person in the meantime), then maybe I'm ready for...

PHASE 3: BABY.
But AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm nowhere NEAR ready for that yet. So I'm just going to keep on being terrified of children for the time being, and not worry about it.

Although a few days ago, I was able to successfully convince a VSP (a bit under two years of age, I think) to put on her mittens. Without crying. Like, by the time I was done with her, she actually wanted to put on those mittens. Go me. But this doesn't change the fact that I don't want one yet. It is simply another example of how I am growing. Facing my fears, that whole thing.

Okay, well, tomorrow morning I'm going to help Mary paint a few sets of cornhole games, so I think I'll go to bed now. Hope all is well!

plates are overrated

So here's the stereotypical "here's what I'm thankful for" blog...I mean, the "things for which I am thankful" blog.

-To the handful of lovely folks who sent me cards saying "Happy Thanksgiving." It really meant a lot to me, so...thank you.

-For Mary, Tod, Wayne, and Kathleen, and for Greg, Chris, Eric, Jeremy, and Gracie for opening their homes up to me today...one for breakfast (in this case, breakfast=PIE, what an awesome tradition!) and the other for dinner. I haven't yet been to the second yet, but I'll be leaving in a little while, and I just have this feeling that it's going to be spectacular.

-To all the families at St. T's (literally, dozens) who offered me a place at their Thanksgiving table. If I could eat dinner with all of them, I would...but alas, my stomach is not that big, and I'd really like to be alive for Christmas! Haha...

-For Skype. (Are you in my Skype contacts? E-mail or Facebook me and I'll give you my contact info!)

-For a warm place to sleep and clothes to wear and food to eat (even if it's not the best...it's more than I need).

-For grace and mercy from God in so many aspects of my life. I feel like the more I try to give (by living out my vocation as a lay ecclesial minister and in other ways too), the more God multiplies my loaves and fishes all OVER the place! God is just showering me with blessings, and I really take comfort in that. And there are so many times when I'm sitting in my office or falling asleep at night or eating macaroni and cheese or hanging out with teenagers when I think, "GOD! You want me to be here!"

-For a growing relationship with my Blessed Mother Mary...you're really throwing me for a loop! I've realized so much over the last few months the importance of a relationship with Mary, and in a very big way, too. I constantly get this sense that she's looking out for me...and that is a comforting thought! So I'm trying my hardest to place my life in her hands so she can carry me to her Son. (Okay, I know--random, and perhaps slightly overwhelming for a "things for which I am thankful" post. I just felt like I had to say it, because it's true! I might devote an entire post to this topic sometime in the near future if I can.)

-For my health, and the health of my family and friends (especially you, Mommio!).

-For my insanely comfortable bed.

-For all the gifts and talents God has given me, and for all the opportunities to use them!

-For the sad stuff--it just helps me appreciate the happy stuff even more.

-To all the teens and parents at St. T's for letting me be a part of their lives.

Okay, enough with the sappy stuff! Now...on to Thanksgiving Dinner! I really hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, and please know that I'm thinking of you today with a great deal of love and fondness in my heart. I miss you and hope all is well!

OH! And if you haven't sent me your address yet, please do so! I want to send you a Christmas card!

it just goes on and on and ON...

Tonight for dinner, I had spaghetti squash. Yum...anyway.

So yesterday, I made a list of things to cover in this post. In no particular order, I present the following topics for your reading pleasure (or torture...whatever):

*General notes about Pittsburgh

There are a TON of hills here. I'm sure people get sick of me talking about them all the time, but it's amazing! I mean, we're talking mountains by Minnesota standards (okay, maybe not quite, but pretty much!), and driving around is sometimes like riding a roller coaster. In fact, I often go over the very top of a hill and put my hands in the air on the way down...but not for too long, because I remember that I'm driving, and to do so with any level of skill and not-death, one must usually have at least one hand on the steering wheel (though I'm pretty good at knee driving...) Autumn here rivals St. John's (I know, hard to believe--but true!), and I think it's simply because you can actually see all the trees as the leaves are changing...because, well, that's how hills work.

In addition to hills, there are an insane amount of bridges in this city. Like, 446 or something ridiculous like that. I mean, I guess it makes sense, since three rivers meet here...but still. That is a lot of bridges. And most of them are painted yellow. Someone I met here is of the opinion that there must have been a sale on yellow paint somewhere, and the city of Pittsburgh really wanted to take advantage of the deal. What a snatch! OH, and here's a picture of me with a statue downtown. Yes, it is, in fact, a transformer made out of yellow bridges.

The people here are very friendly. In fact, one of my first weekends here, I went wandering up to an area called Mt. Washington, and I stumbled across something called the Shiloh Street Art Marketplace...I got to talking with a vendor and was telling him about how I just moved here and whatnot, and he ended up giving me a free pair of earrings, "as a welcome to Pittsburgh." So right off the bat, I had (and still have, for the most part) a very positive outlook on the people of Pittsburgh, PA, thanks to a very nice old man and a very nice pair of homemade earrings.

Football is a big deal here. Like, if you are the type of person who hates grocery shopping when there are a bunch of people in the store, you should go during a Steelers game. The whole city and surrounding area is a freaking ghost town. It's kind of bizarre, actually...but I suppose when your team has won six Super Bowls, you don't have any choice but to be enthusiastic about it, otherwise you might get slapped in the face (I've gotten yelled at a few times by my coworkers for not watching games--I can't help that I don't have TV in my apartment...well, maybe I can, but I'm CHEAP). Anyhow, I have yet to buy a Steelers jersey, but I'm thinking about it.

*Pittsburghese

This is something very strange, almost akin to Wisconsin folks saying 'bubbler' instead of 'drinking fountain.' Not everyone talks like this, but it's still common enough that it takes me by surprise often enough; thus, I feel it's worth mentioning here. I have taken it upon myself to outline a few key phrases you must know if you ever come here (which I hope you do!):

Yinz. This is the same as you folks or y'all. "How're yinz doin'?"

Sweeper/sweep. A vacuum cleaner. "I'm goin'a sweep the rugs."

N'at. Lots of sentences are ended this way. "I'm goin'a sweep the rugs n'at."

Stillers. The Pittsburgh Steelers. "You wanna come over and watch the Stiller game n'at?"

Dahn tahn. Downtown.

Cupboard. They could be talking about an actual cupboard, but most of the time, they're referring to a closet.

And there's more...so much more. Seriously, just Google "Pittsburghese"...it's nuts! Okay, moving on...

*Ways I am growing

When I made the decision to move here, I also decided that I was going to do some growing. So I've really been stepping outside my comfort zone and doing things I didn't think I would, or doing things that I never got around to doing, but that are good for me. I ate chili for the first time ever, and I loved it! I had spaghetti sauce on my noodles, and it was delicious! But it extends beyond food, surprisingly: I have been concentrating more on my prayer life and focusing on my relationship with God a lot more. I am trying so hard to buy what I need as opposed to what I want (for the most part...see "Starbucks" below), though that kind of works itself out anyway with my paycheck being what it is. I am being more intentional about keeping up relationships with friends back home and around the world. I'm making a conscious effort to be more positive about the people, things, and situations around me. And so...I grow.

*Starbucks (ugh)

Yes, I am ashamed to admit that I love Starbucks. Now, I can't have caffeinated beverages because caffeine gives me migraines (so that rules out coffee and most teas...err, I mean, almost every freaking thing in the place), so instead, I always get a grande double chocolatey chip frappuccino. Oh man. It is SO GOOD. I was going there pretty often for a while (a couple times a week), then I mentally slapped myself in the face and said, "JESSIE! What the HECK are you doing?! You are a walking waste of resources! The world is dying faster because you can't live without your stupid not-coffee! SNAP OUT OF IT, JOHNSON!" Thus, I decided that I will only allow myself to have Starbucks on payday. So, twice a month. That's reasonable, isn't it? Okay, don't answer that.

*My car and the awesomeness of all the stuff I have to do to make it legal in PA

Well! I took an exciting trip to the DMV about a month ago and got a Pennsylvania driver's license...and basically ever since then, I've been driving my car around illegally (AW YEAH, livin' on the edge!). Apparently, you're supposed to turn in the paperwork for title and registration within twenty days of establishing residency...zoopsies! So now every time I drive anywhere, I always have this horrible feeling that I'm going to get pulled over and get a ticket for not being legit.

I got car insurance earlier this week (DANG, yo! That stuff is expensive!), and now I'm just waiting for my mom to mail me the MN title for my car so I can exchange it for a PA one. And once that happens, then I get a super sweet (actually, really lame) PA license plate! There are these specialty plates that have animals on them, and I reeeeeeally want the one with the otter on it...but I'm CHEAP so I don't think that's going to happen. OH! Fun fact: in Pennsylvania, you only have a license plate in the back of your car, and not in the front. I've actually gotten several funny looks from people being like, "Where is she from?" while I'm driving around, evading the po-po.

Okay, I think that's all for this post. I'll try to finish up tomorrow night if I can. And then we can all get on with our lives! (Or I can get on with mine...)

Love you all! Hope you're doing well and that you haven't gotten pulled over recently!