01 May 2010

hey...this coffee table wasn't here before!

I know I said that I would try and get the video of the focaccia bread up when I got back, but SCREW THAT because I got frustrated and I'm a loser who gives up at the first sign of a challenge. And by that I mean I tried for a couple of HOURS to get it to work and it just didn't. So. No focaccia bread video for you! But for what it's worth...it was absolutely lovely.

So you may recall that I was away on retreat from Tuesday to Friday. I went up to Erie and spent some time with the Benedictine Sisters there, and it was exactly what I needed. The Sisters are wonderful and gracious, and they're so good at the whole Benedictine hospitality thing (which makes sense, I suppose). I stayed in a hermitage out in the woods, which has a nice little living room, a full kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom, and is about a five minute walk from the main building. "The Mount," as they call it, houses their chapel, library, and dining room, in addition to their living space, offices, and guest rooms. It was an awesome four days that I will surely look back on with fondness...especially on those days when I want to throw in the towel and give up my ministry forever (because everyone has those days every once in a while)! I was able to read a couple of really good books, color a picture with some crayons, and do a lot of journaling.

I wanted to share a bit of what I wrote on Wednesday:
Back in January, I heard this quote by St. Francis when I was on the youth ministers' retreat, and it really stuck with me: "Who we are before God is all we are, and nothing more." I think I've grown from that so much--just the fact that I could acknowledge my brokenness before God was (and continues to be) an important part of experiencing God's boundless love. Because that's just it: God's love doesn't stop when I'm angry with God, or when I don't pray, or when I sin, or when my trust in the Church is shattered. The love of God is always true, always present, always boundless.

Of course, this isn't an excuse for me to slack off spiritually or turn my back on the Church altogether. That's where the whole faith thing comes in. But it's good to be reminded that God's love is bigger than all the drama and the flaws...and that's the biggest thing that I got out of my retreat. It seems so simple, doesn't it?

And I definitely learned a lot of other things about myself and God and all that jazz...but I'm sure you'll understand if I don't write out all my ultra-personal journal entries here. :)

For what it's worth, the books I read were The Holy Longing by Ronald Rolheiser and The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen. They're both excellent books that I would highly recommend!

I'm so drawn to the Benedictine Sisters of Erie. Their community has so much life, and you can just feel the Holy Spirit running around the place like crazy! So...I've decided that I'm going to start the process to become an oblate with them. Basically, an oblate is a layperson (not a nun, Mom--DON'T WORRY, haha) who has a job and a family and all that, but who makes a formal commitment to the Benedictine way of life, especially to prayer (Liturgy of the Hours and the Eucharist) and the Benedictine values. Oblates commit to a particular religious community--in my case, to the Benedictine Sisters in Erie--to their ministries and to financial support of the community if able.

So that's what I'm doing! And now, I'm going to bed. My system is still a little off...I went to prayers with the Sisters at 6:30 each morning, so I had to be in bed pretty early. Also, last night I went to bed at 7:45 because I had a killer headache...and I woke up this morning at 9:00. Dang.

Okie dokie, that's all! Love you, miss you, blah blah blah...

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